T-BACK

I often tell my family and high school friends how I love being part of such a huge barkada in college. It's quite an experience. I've written about the history of our barkada before, but I don't mind writing about us again. It all started with a bunch of Economics majors from three separate blocks coming together for random reasons (common friends, common classes) and going out. I remember during the early days, a few of us would just get-together for an afternoon and decide to watch a DLSU UAAP game. It was simple back then. Haha. I also remember the first time we had an overnight in my house. Originally, it was supposed to be just me and my close blockmates, but things happened and eventually there were 28 of us in one house! It was crazy-ass fun stuff, for sure.

Eventually we started to meet regularly, eating together during breaks and going out every time we had an opportunity to do so - mostly during Thursdays, as classes are out by then. Back in those early days of 2nd year, it was easier to go out as loads weren't as heavy as they are now. Ugh. There are conflicting stories of how we came to be called Thursday Club, but the overlapping theory is the obvious - we'd meet up every Thursday night and go some place.

There was a point in time (late 2008) wherein some of us were obssessed with organizing shit for our group (me, included). We made Thursday Club directories, we had a Thursday Club facebook group, we contemplated on making TClub IDs and TClub shirts, and at one point in time I even had a TClub desktop background. It was that crazy. But I don't think childlike craziness like that is all that bad - after all, it just made our bond stronger as a group. Soon, the directory showed us as having 50 people. It was great.

However, I guess all good things don't last for very long. Some of us went on trips to other countries for studies, some tried romantic moves on others, and a myriad of other shit happened, and eventually disagreements formed. There were petty fights, there were serious fights. This is normal, of course, but with the magnitude of our group, things were bound to get more interesting.

I remember a time during 1st term of our 3rd year wherein six of us formed a mini-group called T-Back (a play on TClub meaning T-Backstab) when we'd just talk about people we didn't like in Thursday Club and just laugh our heads off while backstabbing them. It was fun, for sure, but of course it did little to strengthen group dynamics. We encountered other mini-groups forming within Thursday Club (e.g. Kikiam Group, the Sibs, etc.) and soon the group of 50 people didn't meet as regularly anymore. In fact, when looking at the directory now, maybe 20 or so of the group members listed in the directory don't even go with us anymore. This may be a product of them just moving on with their lives, being annoyed at the attitudes of some of our other friends, or being appalled at the actions and things we do and talk about. See, the group generally loves to talk about anything in particular, and it's not shy of dishing out harsh comments, sexual innuendos and jokes, and foul language. I could imagine many people getting turned off by the mere sight of one of our inuman days at Green Place. Still, I love being part of the group. It's where I feel most comfortable at.

Backstabbing is one thing I'm not proud of myself partaking in, but one thing I can say I am good at. It's not something I intentionally do to want to hurt other people, but it's something that just naturally comes out from my sometimes immoral brain. I have this tendency to criticize other people, and find out what's wrong in them. Maybe that's why I'm still single, haha. Anyway, again I'm not proud of it but anytime we backstab other people, I find myself enjoying conversations. Maybe it's this deep need for me to satisfy my hate by knowing that other people have the same sentiments. A by-product of my introverted-ness, maybe. But sometimes it gets to you, you know? The guilt kicks in. That part of your brain that tries to rationalize things screams at you to stop backstabbing and be a better person. Thoughts of karma race to your brain, and empathic thoughts tell you that if you were in the other person's shoes, you'd feel like crap. Alas, the backstabbing goes on.

Right now, there's a major backstabbing session going on. I'm pretty sure the subject doesn't know that he/she is being backstabbed so heavily, which I guess makes it exciting for most of us doing the backstabbing. It does make things a little complicated and scary though, if he or she were to find out that he or she was being backstabbed by more than 20 people. Imagine that! Of course, this person is not immune from any fault - he or she has also backstabbed before. Perhaps little consolation to us is the fact that he or she had it coming by the things he or she does and says every single day. What started as a topic of interest for the original TBack several months ago has now become a Thursday Club thing - an inside joke known almost to everyone but him or her. It's only recently that I found out that the other mini-groups that were closer to this person were actually backstabbing him or her too. Imagine my surprise that friends you wouldn't think would have any negative feelings toward this person joined in our conversations and even animatedly started recounting past issues with the person. It's amazing, in a weird sort of way.

Of course, this person is not the first one to be backstabbed as such. There have been others, in slightly less abusive manner, who have been targeted before. These people (around five as of this writing) have been targeted more or less by the group because of circumstances. It could be because of a disagreement wherein the group chose one person's side over the other's, or because of a general feeling of animosity toward his or her actions. Sometimes, it's even a result of a person backstabbing the group so much so that the group retaliates. It's a crazy world, for sure, but one filled with adventures left and right.

Fortunately, it doesn't have to end there. Our group finds ways to forgive and forget, for the most part. Oftentimes these people we backstab are still active until now, and the issues we had with them before blow away. It's just like seasons changing. When new issues arise, new topics for backstabbing come up too. Also, our group has this uncanny ability to withstand criticism. Most of us are game for anything, and bombard each other with insults, with little to no ill effect. It's these kinds of insults that keeps us alive, and keeps us moving. I guess you could call it a form of frontstabbing, wherein we indirectly tell each other our faults, and our perceptions of each other. This, I believe, is healthy. The fact that we could tell anything we want to each other is something I find genuinely cool. Some people may want to disagree with us and call us out (hello Mr. Respeto Naman!) but we stand together as one to disagree and ridicule these people. =)) HAHAHA. It's great when we come together to defend each other. You can see that the friendship holds strong.

With all the faults our barkada has, I still find solace in their midst. Without them, my life would be entirely different. Better or worse, who knows? I just know I'm happy to be part of a group who takes care of each other's back (again, for the most part) both in academics, societal status, lovelife issues, and itty-bitty issues. As the authors of Freakonomics note, incentives drive people to do what they do. The incentive here is clear - overall happiness, security, and a little bit of pride too. After all, I still believe that we're one of the smartest and strongest barkadas around. We win competitions, we get high grades, we hold the top positions in the Student Council. We're blessed with talent!